Forgiveness

Forgiveness they say is what sets you free when you feel like the past just keeps knocking you down.

In that case i've been hurt by alot of people,and let alot of people beat me down or walk all over me,in my short lifespan so far i've experienced some of the worst types of abuse. I can tell you firsthand keeping it to yourself might seem like a great idea then the only person hurting is you, but its better to get it out tell other people so you yourself can be free of the chains that bind you. 

So here i go taking my own advice....

I forgive  certain members of my family when i was ages 3-15 for sexually abusing me,when we were told continuously that it was normal, that it was called 'experiencing' , there's nothing normal when one of the party doesn't like it. Yall taught me that even though i was naive, it still wasn't my fault.

I forgive a certain family member for hitting me repeatedly when i was 11 yrs old, i forgive you for destroying my trust in men. You taught me that i have a voice and i should always say what i mean.

I forgive my first boyfriend for raping me,who knew that person i loved more than anyone would hurt me so much. I never told anyone i was raped until i was 19,this happened when i was 16.You taught me that sometimes love is blind.

I forgive my second boyfriend for cheating on me continuously, for breaking my heart more times than i can count, you taught me what i shouldn't settle for. 

I forgive my third boyfriend for the mental abuse and sometimes physical abuse, you were the weak one not me, i still stand strong.You taught me no matter how many times someone tries to break your will power, you hold all the power not them. Also once a guy hits you to leave not stay and believe that he'll change.

I forgive my first husband for physically abusing me, you taught me to always carry a frying pan, so the next person who dares to even threaten me to just SWING!

I forgive my second husband for the years of abuse, you beat me down the hardest. You never sexually abused me, you never physically abused me, but you mentally abused me for 9 yrs.

You were my everything, grew up as neighbors, knew each other since childhood. Really thought you would be my last kiss, the last person i ever fell in love with, my best friend.I still remember when you told me no one would ever love a mother of four.....boy were you wrong....

I remember when you told me i could never find someone like you,i'm glad i didn't i'd be in the same exact position as i was with you,and honey i deserve better. You taught me that no matter how much you love someone you can't make them change. 

Forgiveness doesn't excuse their behavior, Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart. - Author Unknown

So how well did i take my own advice well i forgive those who broke me,and found the one who deserves my love.

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 yrs. He has taught me that i am not worthless, i am wanted, and i am BEAUTIFUL. 

The End.